A magician's guide to befriending Time
by Neil Kelso
This page shares frameworks I've developed for working with time as an ally rather than an adversary.
These ideas emerged from years of performing magic (and magick) —both being arts fundamentally concerned with transformation and the boundaries where one moment becomes another.
Before we begin.... a little note (from a magician) on sharing vs stealing:
We all stand on the shoulders of giants in this work. I've learned from countless teachers, books, and traditions, and I'm grateful for their generosity.
The particular frameworks shared below—the Nine Relationships with Time, the spreads, the concepts—are mine. They've taken years to develop and refine. This page offers them freely for your personal practice, but are not for reproduction, teaching, or publication without permission.
If you'd like to use this work in your own teaching or writing, let's talk. I'm far more interested in building connections than protecting territory—but I do ask that you ask first.
Some of this material forms part of a book currently in development, and I'd absolutely hate to have to hex anyone that misappropriates any of it... *cheeky wink*...
Thanks for your understanding!
Abracadabra,
Neil Kelso
Nine Relationships with Time
Over the years, I've noticed we don't have just one relationship with time—we have many.
Like any relationship, each serves us in certain contexts and harms us if taken too far.
Recognising which relationship you're in at any given moment can shift everything.
Below are nine forms that our relationship with time can take. I have found these useful as archetypes, but I encourage you reflect deeply and to develop your own that resonate with your worldview.
1. TIME AS MEASURE
"If you can measure it, you can manage it."
When it serves you: Structure, accountability, deadlines, tracking progress, creating containers for work.
Sign you're over-relying: Obsessively tracking instead of living, feeling enslaved by the clock, anxiety about "wasted" minutes.
How to rebalance: Ask: "What matters here that can't be measured?" Not everything meaningful fits on a timeline.
2. TIME AS CURRENCY
"Spend it, invest it, waste it, give it."
When it serves you: Setting boundaries, making choices, prioritizing, valuing your energy, saying no so you can say yes.
Sign you're over-relying: Constant "I don't have time," feeling rushed, transactional relationships ("I gave you my time"), resentment about how time is "spent".
How to rebalance: Some moments aren't transactions—they're gifts. The present is often for giving or receiving, not always for spending or exchanging.
3. TIME AS LANGUAGE
"How we coordinate reality with each other."
When it serves you: Planning together, building shared experiences, collaboration, creating collective rhythm.
Sign you're over-relying: Over-scheduling, living by others' timelines, comparison ("everyone my age should..."), FOMO, your calendar owns you.
How to rebalance: Your timeline doesn't need to match anyone else's chapter. Fluency in time-language doesn't mean speaking it constantly.
4. TIME AS COMPANION
"The constant witness beside you."
When it serves you: Feeling less alone, trusting the journey, recognising patterns across years, having perspective.
Sign you're over-relying: Becoming passive ("time will tell"), waiting instead of acting, "someday" thinking, letting time make decisions for you.
How to rebalance: Time witnesses everything, but you are the protagonist. Companionship doesn't mean surrendering agency.
5. TIME AS MIRROR
"Reflecting meaning back through context and distance."
When it serves you: Learning from experience, gaining hindsight, understanding patterns, making sense of your path
Sign you're over-relying: Endless reflection without action, analysis paralysis, living in "if only" or "what if," needing to understand before moving
How to rebalance: Remember that mirrors are good for looking behind us, but not so good for looking ahead. Try another of the relationships instead.
6. TIME AS ILLUSION
"A paradox—past and future exist only as thoughts."
When it serves you: Present moment hyper-awareness, freedom from regret/anxiety, recognising the eternal now, reducing suffering.
Sign you're over-relying: Spiritual bypassing ("it's all an illusion" to avoid responsibility), no planning, dismissing consequences, using philosophy to avoid reality.
How to rebalance: Remember illusions shape reality too. As above so below. Invisible connections are still connections. Abracadabra.
7. TIME AS STORYTELLER
"Authoring our narrative through sequence and pattern."
When it serves you: Finding meaning, creating identity, deriving wisdom, seeing your arc, celebrating milestones
Sign you're over-relying: Non-constructive narratives "everyone else is further along," comparing being a thief of joy, letting time be an unreliable narrator.
How to rebalance: Time provides the pages, but you're the author. Your story doesn't have to follow anyone else's plot.
8. TIME AS TRANSFORMER
"The alchemist that changes everything—grief, wounds, certainty, youth."
When it serves you: Healing, processing loss, accepting change, letting go, trusting in transformation, patience with progress.
Sign you're over-relying: "Time heals all wounds" as avoidance (without doing the work), mourning "lost" years, fear of aging, passively waiting for change.
How to rebalance: Time transforms, but you choose the direction. Transformation often requires your participation, not just your patience.
9. TIME AS RHYTHM
"The pulse of existence—cycles, seasons, breath, heartbeat."
When it serves you: Finding flow, honoring natural cycles, working with energy not against it, recognising when to push and when to rest.
Sign you're over-relying: Rigid adherence to "perfect timing," procrastination, unfeeling precision, using rhythm as an excuse for choices.
How to rebalance: Rhythm includes syncopation and improvisation. Sometimes the magic is in the off-beat, and the silence between notes.
Tarot Spreads for Befriending Time
Here are a selection of approaches with Tarot that can help enlighten us or enrich our relationship with time
The Three Faces of Time (3 Card Spread)
Honouring the linear nature of time.
This is a perfect spread at any moment - looking at the three faces of time (Past, Present and Future) at any moment can be useful.
At New Year it can be interesting to look at these three faces of time as being the year before, the present moment, and the year ahead.
Remember: you don't need to wait until the 31st December to make a resolution!
1 ---- 2 ---- 3
Card 1. What last year taught me - As I look back with gratitude, what have I learned?
Card 2. What is the present moment whispering? - As I am present in this moment, what guidance can time offer me?
Card 3. How can I befriend the year ahead? - As I look at the year ahead, what opportunities and invitations await me?
The Turning Wheel (5 Card Spread)
Honoring the cyclical nature of time.
This is a beautiful spread for understanding a story through time with a cyclical dimension.
It is inspired by the moving of the seasons, or the turning of the clock, but it is equally powerful at any level of granularity.
Always at the centre of the wheel, there is an axle, or a central point of stillness, a centre of gravity.
2
|
1 ---- 5 ---- 3
|
4
Card 1. Dawn (place this card on the left) - What wants to emerge? Beginning, planting, Spring energy
Card 2. Midday (place this card at the top) - What demands my full presence? Peak, outward bloom, Summer energy
Card 3. Dusk (place this card on the right) - What will I gather? Harvest, completion, Autumn energy
Card 4. Midnight (place this card at the bottom) - What needs tending in the depths? Shadow work, the forge, Winter energy
Card 5. The Still Point (place this card in the centre) - What is the thread connecting all seasons? The axis, the constant.
The Big Zodiacal Wheel (15 Card Spread)
An advanced spread weaving the cyclical and linear nature of Time with Tarot and Astrology
This is a very big spread. If you have normal or large sized tarot cards, you're going to need a big table...
This spread began as a deeper dive into the first two spreads.
It's also VERY personal how you like to combine Tarot with Astrtology. If the correspondences here don't work well for you, feel free to see this in the simpler form of simply being the arrival, peak, and departure of each part of the 5-card spread above.
10 9
11 8
12 7
13 14 15
1 6
2 5
3 4
Spring (March 20 - June 20) — The Awakening
Card 1. Aries (Cardinal Fire) - How do I ignite new beginnings?
Card 2. Taurus (Fixed Earth) - How do I build whilst staying grounded?
Card 3. Gemini (Mutable Air) - How do I connect, spread ideas, and communicate?
Summer (June 21 - September 22) — The Expression
Card 4. Cancer (Cardinal Water) - How do I nurture and tend home and emotion?
Card 5. Leo (Fixed Fire) - How do I radiate authentic confidence and shine creativity?
Card 6. Virgo (Mutable Earth) - How do I refine, organize, and perfect my craft?
Autumn (September 23 - December 21) — The Harvest
Card 7. Libra (Cardinal Air) - How do I harmonise and find balance?
Card 8. Scorpio (Fixed Water) - How do I transform through depth?
Card 9. Sagittarius (Mutable Fire) - How do I expand my horizons and explore?
Winter (December 22 - March 19) — The Depths
Card 10. Capricorn (Cardinal Earth) - How do I master structures and discipline?
Card 11. Aquarius (Fixed Air) - How do I innovate for the collective?
Card 12. Pisces (Mutable Water) - How do I dissolve boundaries and dream?
The Still Point — The Axis
Card 13. Cardinal: Journey to Rest - How do I prepare for rest and create safe space for it?
Card 14. Fixed: The Heart of Rest - How do I sustain deep stillness, recharge, and heal?
Card 15. Mutable: Return from Rest - How do I arise from rest and bring wisdom into action?
A note on astrology, hemispheres and perspective:
This spread is rooted in the tropical zodiac as it moves through Northern Hemisphere seasons—not because this is universally "correct," but because it reflects my lived experience having spent nearly all of my life in the Northern Hemisphere.
It is an approach that might not resonate well with your approach to Astrology, and furthermore, if you're in the Southern Hemisphere, you can either flip the wheel (so Cancer becomes your Winter, Capricorn your Summer, etc.) or work with the archetypal energies of each sign regardless of your local weather—Aries energy is Aries energy whether it's hot or cold outside. The Still Point at the center remains constant, regardless of hemisphere or season.
This spread uses the twelve signs of the zodiac in that seasonal progression, honoring the modalities (Cardinal/Fixed/Mutable) and elements (Fire/Earth/Air/Water) that give each sign its character.
A return to simplicity (Single Cards)
A magician's perspective on getting clarity from single card draws.
After working with complex spreads, there's profound power in returning to a single card conversation - but as ever the magic lies in asking wise questions!
Here are three ideas to reflect on when working with time through one-card draws:
1. Explore Quantitative as well as Qualitative
Instead of asking: "When is the right time to leave this job / start this project / have that conversation?"
Consider asking: "How will I recognise when the time is right?"
This allows the cards to give you a richer answer by offering it more qualitative language to use.
This shifts the conversation from being limited to waiting for an external signal towards including your own discernment in the process.
The card can show you what to look for inwardly as well as externally—a feeling or intuition, rather than an external condition that must be met.
Example: You draw the Eight of Cups. This could be corresponded as meaning "late February" but it would be interesting to explore more qualitative meanings, for example it's "You'll know that it's time when staying starts to feel like stagnation or abandoning yourself." Now you have a qualitative compass, not a countdown.
2. Negotiating with Time
Time isn't just something that happens to you—you can speak to it directly.
Consider framing your question to time as a conversation with a friend:
"Dearest friend Time, right now I want to achieve [X]. To do this well, I need you to be [Y] kind of friend to me. What can I do to nurture this in our relationship?"
"Dear Time, I want to write a book. I need you to keep me on track with a tempo that is steady but flexible. How can I welcome that support from you?"
"Dear Time, I want you to help me to heal a relationship. I need you to create space for forgiveness, but opportunities for progress. How can I plan for that?"
"Dear Time, I want to launch this business. I need you to help me communicate with the right people in timely ways. What can I do for you to unlock that?"
The card reveals what you're missing in your relationship with time for this particular goal.
Perhaps you're asking time to slow down when you actually need to work faster.
Perhaps you're demanding expansion when what's needed is focus.
The card gives Time a voice, a way to guide you, and to offer its perspective on your journey.
3. Acknowledging the Time-Dimensions to any question
Time is both linear and cyclical.
Nothing happens in isolation—events have early warning signs, necessary conditions, natural sequences.
Phrasing questions carefully allows us to understand the time dimension to any subject - whether that is links of causality or patterns to recognise.
With one card you can unlock time-perspectives on subjects by phrasing questions in ways that give Time a voice:
"What are the early warning signs that [X] is approaching?"
"What must be in place before [Y] can succeed?"
"What always precedes [Z] in my life?"
Example questions:
"What are the early warning signs that I might be about to burn out?" (Draw: Five of Pentacles → isolation, refusing help)
"What must be established before I'm ready to be in a relationship?" (Draw: King of Cups → emotional sovereignty)
"What pattern always precedes my creative breakthroughs?" (Draw: The Hanged Man → periods of suspended action, letting go of control, new outlooks)
.
Some Final Notes:
A magician knows that every action has a consequence. The question you ask determines the answer you receive.
The above ideas, spreads, and thoughts are all intended to honour time as something you're in relationship with, rather than something happening to you.
Each of us has our own relationship with time, and it is ever-changing, and I hope the ideas shared here help shine new light on ways you can enjoy your relationship with time all the more.
”The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” — Michael Altshuler
“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” — Dale Carnegie
“We can only see a short distance ahead, but we can see plenty there that needs to be done.” — Alan Turing
“Life isn’t a matter of milestones, but of moments.” — Rose Kennedy
“Once you have mastered time, you will understand how true it is that most people overestimate what they can accomplish in a year — and underestimate what they can achieve in a decade!” — Anthony Robbins
“The butterfly counts not months but moments and has time enough.” — Rabindranath Tagore
“The shorter way to do many things is to only do one thing at a time.” — Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
“We all sorely complain of the shortness of time, and yet have much more than we know what to do with. Our lives are either spent in doing nothing at all, or in doing nothing to the purpose, or in doing nothing that we ought to do. We are always complaining that our days are few, and acting as though there would be no end of them.” — Seneca
“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand, and melting like a snowflake.” — Sir Francis Bacon
“One can only forget about time by making use of it.” — Charles Baudelaire
“One must work with time and not against it.“ — Ursula K. Le Guin
“Perfection is attained by slow degrees; it requires the hand of time.” ― Voltaire
Thank you for your time.
Thank you for taking the time to read and explore these ideas with me.
These are of course all part of an ongoing conversation, so I hope you have found inspiration, or something new to experiment with.
If you enjoy my work, you might like to join my 7Secrets newsletter below.
Kindest wishes and thanks,
Neil Kelso